I really want to change things. But I don’t understand or know why, every time I decide to change for a better life…things and people from my past appear to make things worse instead of making it better. And as much as I try to fix it. It’s like quicksand. So now, I will pause in my life. Live each day as it comes. Good or bad, I will try to deal with one thing at a time. I wake up every morning wondering if it’s the last day of my life. Wondering if Christ will come as a thief in the night to take His church to Heaven. Wondering if my life can get any worse or any better. I do my errands, or I do my job when I go to work, or I spend time with my friends, trying to make them laugh and have a good time. Because that’s the way I am. I download apps to learn how to do things. I try to make everyone happy. I want everyone to remember me as a good man and not evil. I’m not perfect…I know that. But, I just want to be happy and make others smile and feel happy or glad they have me as a friend who can put a smile on their faces.
I have dealt with depression in the past…and sometimes it wants to come back and torment me. But so far so good I have overcome it, thanks to my God Almighty. Without Him I can do nothing and I am nothing. I feel bad when I fail Him. I am weak. But in Him I am strong. His Word says, It’s not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord. So I must trust in His Word that I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me.
So…back to changes. I want my income to change and get better. I want my living situation to change and get better. I want my spiritual life to change and get better. I want to change and be better. All these changes I want, I put it in God’s hands through prayer, trusting that He will answer, and let His will be done.
Have a great weekend and I hope to read your comments soon. God bless you all.